Dit is wat de late night shows te melden hebben over de verkiezingen:
"According to a new Gallup poll out today, 61 percent of Iraqis believe the war to remove Saddam Hussein was worth any hardship. The problem is, the other 39 percent are shooting at us." —Jay Leno
"Bush pointed to positive signs in Iraq, like how the economy is taking off, thanks to a booming car bomb business." --Drew Carey
It looks like President Bush and John Kerry have agreed on three debates. Kerry wanted more but Bush said no; he thought three was a good even number." --Jay Leno
"President Bush says he's very excited about Cat Stevens. He says that we are winning the war on singer/song writers." --David Letterman
"President Bush attended the opening of the Smithsonian Institute American Indian Museum. President Bush said he was proud of the history of the Indians and proud that the white man could come to this country to liberate them and bring them democracy." --Jay Leno
"Ralph Nader says he is going to participate in the presidential debates. OK, he'll be at home yelling at the screen." --Jay Leno
"Both candidates now are trying to lower expectations for how they'll do on the debates. For example, Kerry tried to lower expectations for himself by saying Bush has never lost a debate and that he is a formidable opponent. Then Bush lowered expectations for himself when he said, 'Hey, what does "formable" mean?'" --Jay Leno
"During a speech this week John Kerry said if President Bush is re-elected he might bring back a military draft. When asked, Bush said, 'Trust me, even if I bring back the draft there are plenty of ways to get around it.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Are you all ready for the presidential debate this Thursday? It's kind of like "The Apprentice" except WE get to fire somebody." --Jay Leno
"The first presidential debate is Thursday in Florida. I think it's Bush's way of saying thank-you for that last crooked election." --David Letterman
"All the experts have been on TV saying the one thing that each candidate must do to win. Like Kerry can't look like a know-it-all. And Bush can't be too simplistic. So basically the entire presidential race comes down to this, the smart guy has to look a little dumber, and the dumb guy has to look a little smarter. To win, each guy has to pretend to be more like the other guy." --Jay Leno
"The Democrats think Kerry won and the Republicans all think Bush won. Well, the swing voters, they were all watching porno." --Jay Leno
"The first question went to John Kerry because he won the coin toss. Well, of course he did. His wife owns all the coins." --Jay Leno
"I don't want to say Bush blew it, but this morning, hurricane victims were comforting him." --Bill Maher
"The only reason many believe Kerry won the debate, is because about two-thirds of the way in, Bush got sleepy and stopped using words." --Tina Fey
"That's it for George W. Bush. He will not have to participate in the next debate. Yeah, his dad got him out of it." --David Letterman